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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25079002">Family</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaughterOfAthena_SisterOfArtemis/pseuds/DaughterOfAthena_SisterOfArtemis'>DaughterOfAthena_SisterOfArtemis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dead To Me (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, post 2x10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:35:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,309</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25079002</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaughterOfAthena_SisterOfArtemis/pseuds/DaughterOfAthena_SisterOfArtemis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a short piece for the end of the season.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Judy Hale/Jen Harding</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>89</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>English is not my native language.<br/>I do not own Dead to Me or its characters.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She’s in pain. Unbearable pain. And there’s a fucking tube in her throat. <em> Fuck </em> , <em> the car accident </em> , <b> <em>Judy! </em> </b></p><p>She needs to open her eyes, needs to get her body to respond, but as much as she tries, her muscles just don’t fucking comply.</p><p>Jen breathes in and out. <em> WWJD., right </em>? Deep breath after deep breath, then try again.</p><p>It’s then that she notices something besides the pain. A hand is holding her right one, a finger is drawing patterns on the back of her hand.</p><p>She tries to concentrate on the feeling, tries to make out her environment with the few senses that seem to be responding.</p><p>The room is awfully quiet, except for the steady beep of some machine. But there’s also another sound. She hears breathing, and not just that of one other person, but of several.</p><p><em> Ok, fucking comply this time </em> . Jen tries to open her eyes again. The light is blinding, making her eyes shut close as soon as they open. <em> Shit </em> . <em> Again! </em> This time she manages to keep her eyes open. She still can’t get her body to move, though, so she lets her eyes roam about the hospital room. <em> Fucking hospital </em>; Jen hates hospitals.</p><p>Her eyes find Judy, who’s stroking her hand. Her head is resting next to Jen’s arm and her eyes are closed. If it weren’t for the constant stroking of her hand, Jen would think Judy were asleep. <em> She’s ok </em>, she thinks and feels unbelievably relieved. Jen lets her eyes rest on the brunette’s face for a while, before looking around again. That’s when she sees it.</p><p>On her other side are her two boys. Jen can feel tears shooting into her eyes. They are both fast asleep, Charlie leaning back in his chair, one hand supporting his head, the other in Henry’s hair, who is sleeping with his head on his brother’s lab.</p><p>A tear is falling down Jen’s cheek, and she desperately wants to wipe it away, but her muscles just won’t do what she wants them to.</p><p>Judy’s head perks up, the pressure on Jen’s hand increases. “Oh, thank God, I thought maybe your hand just twitched. Are you in pain?” Jen is thankful for Judy’s quiet voice; she doesn’t want her boys to wake up. Since she can’t do much, Jen just blinks at Judy. “I’ll get a doctor in here right away. I’m so glad you’re finally awake!” With a last squeeze of her hand, Judy turns around to leave the room.</p><p>Jen allows herself a few more tears, then she forces herself to stop. It costs her a lot of energy, but she manages. Jen just hopes her fucking tears will have dried when Judy comes back.</p><p>She tries to move again; this time she manages to actually lift her right hand a tiny bit and she can even turn her head into the direction of her boys to really look at them. Henry’s face is puffy, he probably cried his eyes out, and Charlie has dark circles under his eyes. Jen wishes she could just hug her boys and tell them everything is gonna be ok.</p><p>There’s a knock on the door which isn’t even closed, so why bother, and then a doctor walks in, followed closely by Judy. Just like Charlie, she looks like she hasn’t slept in days, and judging from her puffy face she’s been crying, just like Henry.</p><p>“Hello Mrs. Harding, I’m Dr. Gabriel.” He whispers, for which Jen is very grateful. He tells her about her injuries; concussion, swollen brain which is why she had been put into a coma to give the swelling time to subside, left forearm broken in two places, bruised hip and left leg, whiplash. He also tells her she’s been out for four days. <em> Fuck! </em>He checks her stats, looks at the monitors, and finally tells her he’s going to remove the fucking tube.</p><p>Dr. Gabriel tells Jen to take a deep breath and then exhale strongly. She does, which is the exact moment he pulls the tube out. Jen feels like puking right there and then. She coughs a few times, so Judy hands her a glass of water.</p><p>“Try not to speak too much to give your throat some rest.”</p><p>When they are finally alone, Judy sits on Jen’s bed, facing the other woman, carefully taking Jen’s right hand into her own. “How are you feeling?” she whispers, “Really feeling? Don’t give me the ‘I’m fine’ BS you just told the doctor.”</p><p>Jen turns her head left to look at her boys. “Dizzy, tired.” She pauses, looking at the ceiling. “Weak.” Her voice is hoarse and talking hurts, but she needs to know something. “How are they?”</p><p>Judy doesn’t need to ask who Jen means. “They are shaken, but they are also so strong. Henry really tried to be strong and Charlie took good care of him. There was some crying, and some angry words, but they are doing ok.” Judy squeezes Jen’s hand and watches as tears fall down Jen’s face. “It’s ok, it’s ok.” She whispers over and over again while holding her best friend carefully as Jen cries silently.</p><p>“God, I’m so sorry,” Jen said quietly in between silent sobs. “On top of all the bullshit going on, I could have gotten us both killed. I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“Oh, Jen, it’s not your fault.”</p><p>It takes quite some time for Judy to calm Jen down, and by the time Judy pulls back from Jen, she has already fallen asleep.</p><p> </p><p>Next time Jen wakes up, Judy is fast asleep next to her. Again, her head rests on Jen’s bed, but instead of holding her hand Judy uses her left hand as her pillow and her right one rests lightly on Jen’s right leg.</p><p>Jen turns to her left and looks straight into the eyes of Charlie. Henry is still (again?) asleep with his head resting on his brother’s lab.</p><p>“You look like crap,” Charlie tells her. </p><p>“Gee, thanks. Exactly what I needed to hear right now. But have you looked into a mirror recently?” The two of them exchange a small smile, but then Charlies expression turns serious again.</p><p>“You scared me, mom.”</p><p>“I’m so sorry, Charlie.” Jen wants nothing more than to reach out to him, but her left side is hurting so fucking much. “I’m so sorry.” Tears are threatening to fall down her face again, which is not lost on Charlie. Carefully he disentangles himself from his brother to make his way over to his mother’s bed.</p><p>He regards his mother with soft eyes, softer than Jen has seen them in years. Then, very slowly, he reaches out to take Jen’s right hand into his. “How much pain are you in?”</p><p>“It’s ok. I’ve had worse.” Jen manages to smile at her son. “You haven’t been sleeping much, have you?”</p><p>“It’s ok,” Charlie echoes.</p><p>“No, it’s not. I’m sorry for worrying you.” Charlie smiles at her with sad eyes.</p><p>“Mom, there’s something we need to talk about.” <em> He sounds so grown up </em>.</p><p>“What is it, Charlie?” Still in pain but very much in need to reassure her son, Jen squeezes Charlie’s hand with her left one. <em> Shit, that hurts like hell </em>.</p><p>With his free hand Charlie reaches into his back pocket and shows Jen the letters he found in Judy’s room shortly before the accident.</p><p>“Oh fuck!” Jen covers her face with her right hand, rubbing her eyes, willing herself not to cry again.</p><p>“She killed dad.” Charlie points at Judy with the letters still in his hand. “And you forgave her and let her stay with us.” Jen takes her hand from her face, blinking at the ceiling, trying to prepare for what he will undoubtedly say next. “And you killed Steve.” In between all that pain, physical and mental, Jen barely registers Charlie’s hand which is still in hers.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Jen whispers. There are no words for what her and Judy had done. Jen and Charlie look at each other for what seems like forever, until Jen speaks again. “Judy was in the car with Steve. They hit him by accident. You know Judy, she wanted to turn around, but Steve – he could be very manipulative and threatening. He made her keep driving. And when she told me, I thought I wanted her dead, but the reality is that she’s the only person who actually treated me like a normal person after Ted’s death. I pushed her away, but later, after – after I killed Steve, I needed her. We needed each other. There is no going through this on your own.” Jen pauses, looking into her son’s face. She tries to gauge his reaction, but he is just too much like herself. She can’t read him. “It’s ok to be mad at us, to hate us. But I need you to understand that all we have been trying to do these past months is to make sure you and Henry won’t lose me on top of losing your dad.”</p><p>Charlie is still just looking at her with a blank face. “I, um, I was going to turn myself in, I actually talked to one of the Detectives. But Perez, she – she let me go. I’m still not exactly sure why, but she did.” Jen pauses again. “I know it will take a lot of time for you to trust me again, to trust Judy. But never forget that I love you.” Jen is crying again. <em> Fucking hell, how much can a human being cry in one day? Get your shit together. </em></p><p>It’s what happens next that astonishes her. Charlie puts the letters onto her bed and slowly, carefully, lovingly wipes the tears off of Jen’s face. “We’ll talk more about this when you’re better.” With those words he puts the letters back into his back pocket.</p><p>“I love you, Charlie, never doubt that.” Jen says quietly and squeezes his hand again. She’s beginning to feel drowsy again.</p><p>“Love you, too, mom.”</p><p> </p><p>Jen wakes up to her bed shifting. She looks down to her left, seeing Henry laying down carefully on her right side. “Hey, boop.”</p><p>“Mom,” he exclaims excitedly. “You’re awake!”</p><p>“Yeah, so it seems. How are you, Henry?” His face is no longer puffy, which she is very glad for. Jen runs her right hand through his hair.</p><p>“Ok. I’m glad you’re ok, mom.” Very carefully as not to hurt her, he lays down on her right side, pulling her arm around himself, facing her. “We were all very worried. But the doctor says you’ll be fine, and we can take you home tomorrow. He says we’ll have to make sure you don’t carry anything or walk unnecessarily, and one of us has to stay with you all times because of your head. We will all take good care of you, mom. Promise.”</p><p>She has no tears left to cry, otherwise she’s sure they’d be back in her eyes right now. “I know you will. Where are Charlie and Judy?”</p><p>“Charlie is on the phone talking to Lorna. She said she wants to come to help, but Charlie is trying to convince her not to come. And Judy’s talking to a person named Michelle. They are in the cafeteria.”</p><p>Jen is so proud of her sons. A few months ago, Charlie would have happily invited Lorna to help just to torture Jen, but now, even after learning the truth, he tries to get her off of her back. He’s grown so much. <em> Maybe too much </em>, Jen thinks. She wishes he’d stay a kid for a while longer.</p><p>“Did they say when they’d be back?”</p><p>“No, but they’ve been gone for some time.” He hesitates, but then he asks, “Hey mom, do you think dad watched out for you? Like a guardian angel?”</p><p>
  <em> Fucking Lorna for making Henry believe the whole Christian bullshit. </em>
</p><p>“Sure, Henry. I love you, boop.”</p><p>“I love you, too. Do Charlie and I have to go back to school once you’re home?” Henry looks at her with those big puppy eyes.</p><p>“We’ll see, boop. Wanna tell me what I missed in the last couple of days?”</p><p>The two of them talk for some time, until Charlie comes back into the room.</p><p>“I just saved your ass, mom.” Charlie grins at her.</p><p>“Language,” Henry chimes in which makes Jen laugh. She immediately regrets it because a sharp pain shoots through her body. She tries not to let it show just how much that hurts, but Charlie is too old to be fooled. He’s at her side in an instant, hands on her shoulder.</p><p>“Take it easy, mom.” The pain slowly subsides until the only thing left is the constant dull pain.</p><p>“I’m ok, Char.” Jen takes a few deep breaths (or as deep as she can without hurting herself again) before continuing. “Thanks for keeping Lorna at bay, Charlie. You are my hero.”</p><p> </p><p>The drive home is mostly quiet. Judy is driving, and Jen tries to keep her body as still as possible. Charlie and Henry are in the back seat, Charlie listening to music, Henry playing on his portable game console.</p><p> </p><p>Judy leads her to the outdoor living room, where Jen lays down gingerly. Judy has taken the week off at work so she can take care of Jen, which Jen really appreciates, even if she’d never admit it. She’s not one to ask for help easily. They also allow the boys to stay at home for one more day, but that’s it. Education is important, Jen reminds them when they pout at her.</p><p> </p><p>Jen’s lying on the couch, peacefully listening to the TV while resting her eyes. A soft breeze sweeps through her garden every so often, but Judy draped a blanket over Jen, so she really isn’t cold. In fact, she quite enjoys the soft wind and the fresh air.</p><p>Her boys initially didn’t want to leave her side, but she told them they should catch up on some sleep, even though it if the middle of the day, because they still looked like hell. Henry, like the good kid he is, agreed, but only to sleeping on the garden loungers. Charlie was probably upstairs, playing on his game console. (Unbeknown to Jen, he has opened his window so he can make sure his mom is ok from afar.)</p><p>Judy approaches, a trey with water and snacks in hand, and sets it down on the table in front of the TV.</p><p>“You ok?”</p><p>“Yeah, sore, but the pain is bearable,” Jen says without opening her eyes.</p><p>“When did you take the last pain killer?”</p><p>“Don’t know. After that horrible hospital breakfast.”</p><p>“It’s past 3, you can take another one if you want. Maybe you should. I don’t want you to be in more pain than necessary.”</p><p>“Maybe later, before going to bed. Thanks though.”</p><p>She hears Judy moving closer to the couch. “Can you lift your head?” Judy asks.</p><p>Jen does, and Judy sits down, gently guiding Jen’s head back down so Jen’s head rests on Judy’s legs.</p><p>The two of them sit in comfortable silence for a while, Judy playing with Jen’s hair while Jen just rests with her eyes closed again. She needs to talk to Judy, but she doesn’t know where to start.</p><p>“Is Henry asleep?” she asks after quite some time. Judy looks behind them to where Henry sleeps on a lounger.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Good. Judy, Charlie found my letters.” Jen feels Judy take in a breath more than she hears it.</p><p>“He knows.” It’s not a question. “Why hasn’t he said something to me?”</p><p>“I don’t know. I also don’t know how to deal with this. All I’ve been trying to do is keep this whole situation away from the boys, and now he knows. What do I do?”</p><p>“I think at this point you just need to let him sort this out for himself. He’s not a little boy anymore, and I think he will understand. Maybe not right away, but he knows you love him and that you only want the best for him and Henry.” They are quiet for a few moments. “He did really good over the last few days. He’s not the same kid anymore that used to sell his father’s pills.”</p><p>“Yeah, you’re right. I just feel so fucking helpless. And you know how hard that is for me to admit. How can I protect him from this mess? And how can he ever trust me again?”</p><p>“He’s smart, just like his mom. He’ll get there.”</p><p>“How can you be so sure?” Judy can’t remember the last time Jen has sounded so small.</p><p>“If you can forgive me, then he can forgive you. I just know it.” Judy reaches for Jen’s left hand which rests on her stomach, carefully squeezing it. Her arm is in a cast, but her hand is free.</p><p>“I love you, Judy. I’m glad you’re here with us.”</p><p>“Love you too. Where else would I be?”</p><p>“Henry told me you were talking to Michelle yesterday. I thought maybe you made up and that you’d like to be with her.” When Judy doesn’t answer, Jen opens her eyes to look at Judy.</p><p>“Actually, we decided to break up. For good. We talked about us and about you, and I told her that I couldn’t be with her.”</p><p>“But why? You were so happy with her?” Jen searches Judy’s face for answers, but for once she can’t find any. <em> Fucking painkillers make my mind drowsy </em>. Judy takes a moment to decide whether this is the right moment to speak her mind, but she really can’t keep this from Jen any longer.</p><p>“When you were out, I didn’t even think about Michelle once. Until she called me because Perez told her about the accident. All I could think of was that the boys couldn’t lose you, too, and that<em> I </em> couldn’t lose you. And I realized something, sitting in that hospital room, holding your hand and watching the boys.” Judy looks into Jen’s eyes. “I don’t want our family to change. I don’t want to spend my time away from you. Or the boys for that matter.”</p><p>“I also don’t want you to not be here. Ew, gross. I can’t believe I just said that. It’s the painkillers.” Judy laughs at Jen wrinkling her nose.</p><p>“I really love you, Jen.”</p><p>“You literally said that five minutes ago.”</p><p>“I know, but you deserve to hear it every single day. You are gorgeous, even if you don’t believe me.” <em> I’m going to make you believe me! </em> Judy thinks.</p><p> </p><p>Charlie hears all that. He listens to his mom worrying about him, listens to the two women sharing their feelings without actually sharing them (how dense can two grown up women be?) and makes a decision. He may not be able to forgive them just yet, but he can protect them.</p><p>He sneaks into the kitchen, making sure neither Jen nor Judy see him, and reads the letters one last time. When he reaches the end of Jen’s letter to Judy, he smiles (but also, gross, feelings) and rips the last few lines off. Then he reaches for the lighter his mother keeps with the cigarettes in one of the big bowls and sets the letters on fire in the sink. He watches as they burn, making sure that nothing is left except for the ashes.</p><p>Charlie puts the last lines he ripped off next to the sink and goes back upstairs, leaving the ashes in the sink to let his mom and Judy know that the letters are gone, without actually having to talk about it.</p><p>The only piece of evidence left from the letters is the last two lines Jen had written to Judy:</p><p>“I love you more than wine. Thank you for loving me and our boys.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! :)</p><p>The last two lines can be seen in 2x10 at about 2:25 minutes.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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